All Messed Up
First off, I'd like to appoligize for the quality (and quanity) of my writing lately. I just haven't had the time or energy latey to much into it. Someone left a comment recently that I seemed "self-abosrbed" (SA). I appreciate this type of feedback. The more I think about it, he (she) is probably right. How can you not be SA when you are a 46-year old single man with no children, and, very goal-oriented. Or, maybe I'm all that, because I'm SA? Hmmmm...
A certain degree of SA is probably ok, at least for a limited time if you're in pursuit of a goal. I think even a married person with children owes it to themselves to have aperiod of SA, such as, when the are trying to qualify for Boston, or even the Ironman Championship in Kona. Might as well think big. Nobody should go through life, thinking "What if?"
The reason I started are this blog are multifold. First off, I wanted to motivate people to take up an active and healthy lifestyle. Secondly, I wanted to hone my writing skills. Just like working out, the only way to become a better writer is to write on a regular, consistant basis, and to stretch your limits. Third, I wanted to showcase my photography. And lastly, I thought I could use it as a means of self-discovery, by answering questions of myself, and, accepting feedback from others.
I chose a dual topic, Running & Love (or the pursuit, thereof), specifically, internet dating. In one subject, I'm very knowledgable. The other, not so much. Well, things kind of got messed up. The girlfriend that I went to Puerto Vallarta with last April, and I, were on a break. I had been "kicked to the curb", again, when I wrote about the Branson girl. A few days after that, we decided to get back together. Everything was cool. I thought she had even read the revealing posting. She hadn't. When she did, less than a week into our reconciliation, she called me a slut, and "kicked me to the curb", again. Apparenetly, she's never been informed about the well-established, double-standard.
So, I'm out on the curb again. I am back to scouring the personals, but, I'll refrain from writing about it for awhile out of respect for her. It kind of reminds me of the Friends episode: "We were on a break!"
A certain degree of SA is probably ok, at least for a limited time if you're in pursuit of a goal. I think even a married person with children owes it to themselves to have aperiod of SA, such as, when the are trying to qualify for Boston, or even the Ironman Championship in Kona. Might as well think big. Nobody should go through life, thinking "What if?"
The reason I started are this blog are multifold. First off, I wanted to motivate people to take up an active and healthy lifestyle. Secondly, I wanted to hone my writing skills. Just like working out, the only way to become a better writer is to write on a regular, consistant basis, and to stretch your limits. Third, I wanted to showcase my photography. And lastly, I thought I could use it as a means of self-discovery, by answering questions of myself, and, accepting feedback from others.
I chose a dual topic, Running & Love (or the pursuit, thereof), specifically, internet dating. In one subject, I'm very knowledgable. The other, not so much. Well, things kind of got messed up. The girlfriend that I went to Puerto Vallarta with last April, and I, were on a break. I had been "kicked to the curb", again, when I wrote about the Branson girl. A few days after that, we decided to get back together. Everything was cool. I thought she had even read the revealing posting. She hadn't. When she did, less than a week into our reconciliation, she called me a slut, and "kicked me to the curb", again. Apparenetly, she's never been informed about the well-established, double-standard.
So, I'm out on the curb again. I am back to scouring the personals, but, I'll refrain from writing about it for awhile out of respect for her. It kind of reminds me of the Friends episode: "We were on a break!"
posted by kcrunner at 6:35 PM
4 Comments:
hmmmmm...perhaps spending some time alone and not automatically jumping back in to dating/personal's sites as soon as you get kicked to the curb might be of benefit? giving one's self time to reflect and heal, and just not being with anyone for a while. continually trying to fill an 'empty spot' within yourself with another person (or activity) still leaves you empty.
people do become SA about things other than marathons and ironman competitions (or (gasp!) any sport). sometimes it's about personal growth (mentally/emotionally/intellectually)...and sometimes those pursuits are even more fulfilling than physical ones (and believe it or not, maybe even sexual ones). and often taking a much-needed journey within might just improve all of the outer, more superficial aspects of a person.
endlessly searching outside yourself for something you should be able to find within is ultimately empty and unfulfilling. finding worth in yourself for something other than how many women you can bed or how good of an athlete you can be (or used to be) would be a goal worthy of a little SA.
oh, and the characters in the friends episode you mentioned end up together in the end!
The only goals i see are the running ones thatare sabotaged by excess drinking and carousing. No one can possibly perform that well in competition by doing all those extra things instead on taking care of oneself, just ask Mickey Mantle for example. Competitive running at your age takes alot of self control with the partying, just can't do that like the younger days. Recovery at 46 is not easy.
Sexual conquests are not a goal and enevitably leave one empty. Establishing a true relationship just might be a good thing for you instead of always looking for something you may have missed or whatever looks good at the moment.
The next time you have a down time with a girlfriend it might be better to discuss dating others instead of taking it for granted and she then gets upset with it. I'm sure that the women you date already know you better than you think they do.
Hell we all know you're self absorbed.I wouldn't worry about it anyway. Have to live your life the way you want. When you old and grayer I'll come to the nursing home in the "Keys" and visit you.
PH
very good points, ph...we're all self-absorbed to some degree. just live the way that makes you the happiest.
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